Mickey's Musings
I have stories to tell.

 

Week 1:

 

FedOx: Hello, you have reached FedOx customer service.

 

Woman: Hello, customer service?

 

FedOx: Yes, this is customer service. What can we do for ya?

 

Woman: Well, I’m calling about a delivery I received today.

 

FedOx: And?

 

Woman: Well, the man left my package at the bottom of my stairs.

 

FedOx: So?

 

Woman: You see, I use a walker and I can’t maneuver stairs, so I can’t retrieve the package.

 

FedOx: Then how do you get in and out of the house?

 

Woman: Mostly, I don’t. But when I must, I use a ramp in my garage to get to my car.

 

FedOx: Then use the ramp to go out and get the package.

 

Woman: But the package is heavy and I can’t carry it and use my walker at the same time.

 

FedOx: Get a neighbor to do it.

 

Woman: But I don’t know my neighbors.

 

FedOx: Call a relative.

 

Woman: All of my relatives are dead.

 

FedOx: Then there’s nothing I can do to for you. But thank you for calling FedOx customer service. We know you have other choices for your shipping needs and we thank you for choosing FedOx.

 

Week 2:

 

FedOx: Hello, you have reached FedOx customer service.

 

Woman: Hello, customer service?

 

FedOx: Yeah.

 

Woman: I’m calling about another bad delivery.

 

FedOx: Why?

 

Woman: Well, see, I ordered some fabrics and they came in plastic shipping envelopes and the delivery man put one in the middle of each of my stair steps, and one right under the front door on the porch. Good thing I was paying attention or I could have stepped on it and maybe fallen. And I can’t get down the steps to get to the other packages with my walker.

 

FedOx: It’s a rainy, wet day out. He was probably trying to insure that you wouldn’t have to get your feet wet when going down the stairs.

 

Woman: But I just said I can’t go down the stairs and I wouldn’t need to go down the stairs if my packages had been delivered properly to my porch.

 

FedOx: I believe that’s a personal issue, Ma’am. I can’t help you with that. But thank you for calling FedOx customer service. We know you have other choices for your shipping needs and we thank you for choosing FedOx.

 

Week 3:

 

FedOx: Hello, you have reached FedOx customer service.

 

Woman: Hello, customer service?

 

FedOx: You again? What now?

 

Woman: I’m calling about yet another bad delivery.

 

FedOx: (Long, exasperated sigh.)

 

Woman: Your delivery man placed a large package in front of my door and now I can’t get out of my house through that door.

 

FedOx: It’s icy and slippery outside. He was probably trying to insure that you didn’t walk out onto the porch and fall, you know, with your disability and all.

 

Woman: But what if something happens and I need to use that door?

 

FedOx: Ma’am, we consider your continued complaints to be harassment. I would suggest that you use your ramp in your garage if something happens, and I strongly suggest that you never call us again. Thank you for calling FedOx customer service. We know you have other choices for your shipping needs and we thank you for choosing FedOx.

 

########

 

That same night, there was a fire in the woman’s home. It started in the garage. She couldn’t exit through the garage, of course, so she was forced to attempt to get out through the front door. Surely, she could crawl down the steps. But the heavy package blocking her door was a hindrance that took several extra, precious minutes to dislodge.

She managed to exit her home just as firefighters and paramedics arrived at the scene. Hospitalized, she was treated for smoke inhalation and burns, then released after a time.

 

1 year later:

 

The woman filed a lawsuit that attracted worldwide attention. Many other mistreated customers came forward. Interviews about their harrowing ordeals were broadcast widely through television and social media. Her story went viral on YouTube.

 

FedOx stock value plummeted. The woman won millions of dollars in her lawsuit and used part of it to buy the FedOx Company for a relatively small sum. She then sold FedOx to one of its competitors at considerable profit with a written, contractual stipulation that quality customer service would be a priority within the new, blended company.

 

She believed that great customer service, along with a superior product was the ultimate formula for success in a business.

 

Guess what? She was right. Gradually, over time, a landslide of business flowed into the new company. Customers were treated well and were pleased with their service. Customer loyalty to the new business was solidified through the care and good will promoted by the company’s new attitude as it established a brand that represented superior customer satisfaction and attention.

 

Thus, the taming of the FedOx was accomplished.